Meltdowns in Public: How to Support Your Child and Yourself
Meltdowns are not tantrums. They are not a sign of poor parenting, spoiled behaviour, or "acting out." They are moments when a child’s nervous system becomes completely overwhelmed. And when this happens in public? It can feel like all eyes are on you.
But behind the stares and whispers, there's a story of love, resilience, and invisible battles.
"When a child is overwhelmed, their nervous system is in a state of ‘fight, flight, or freeze.’ In this state, logic and language are harder to access—what they need most is co-regulation and a feeling of safety." — Through the Child's Eyes: A Journey into How Children Think, Feel & Experience the World
What No One Sees:
The sensory overload from bright lights, crowds, and noise.
The exhaustion from masking all day, trying to "fit in."
The emotional effort it takes for your child to process a simple trip to the shop.
Your preparation: packing familiar snacks, fidget toys, comfort items, planning exits.
Your internal dialogue: "Stay calm, be the anchor, ignore the stares, breathe."
In the Moment: How to Support Your Child
Prioritise safety. Make sure your child is in a safe space, physically.
Lower your voice and soften your body language. They need calm, not commands.
Use simple, familiar words. E.g., "I’m here. You’re safe. Breathe with me."
Offer comfort items. A favourite toy or blanket can be an emotional lifeline.
Block out the world. If needed, turn your body to create a "cocoon" between your child and the public.
After the Storm: Supporting Yourself
Once you’ve supported your child through their meltdown, you deserve support too. Here are 5 quick self-regulation strategies:
Take five deep belly breaths.
Use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique.
Drink some water slowly.
Text a friend: “We had a tough moment, but we’re okay.”
Step outside and feel the sun or breeze.
"Their little bodies and minds are doing the best they can with the tools they have. And so are you." — Through the Child's Eyes
You Are Not Alone
You are not the only one navigating a world that doesn’t always understand neurodivergent children. And you’re not the only one feeling the weight of public meltdowns, silent judgment, and emotional exhaustion.
But you are doing an incredible job. Even when you feel like you’re barely holding it together.
For more insight into what your child might be experiencing, and how to respond in a way that supports both of you, grab a copy of Through the Child’s Eyes: A Journey into How Children Think, Feel & Experience the World.
This book will give you the tools to understand, connect, and respond with compassion — even when things are hard.
[Available now on Amazon and via the Child Centric website]
